09-13-1996

Friday the 13th has turned out to be a bad luck day after all.
Johanne has left, being with the football team, and gone to a game 5 hours away, where she is (I believe) sleeping there, and returning saturday. ::sigh:: This means no smile during lunch. But I waved, and said Hi during Homeroom (we have auditorium on Fridays, Mr. Esparza is Her teacher) and she waved back. No smile, she looked preoccupied. ::sigh::
Today, Skip, Judy, and I have a game of Vampire after school until 5:00. It's going to be fun. ::sigh:: All I can think about is Johanne. I need to study my speech for Emglish. -till later.
Well, it's later, and I'm writing again. I miss Johanne, I feel weird and Hypocritical to say that cause I don't really know her, but I wish I could have seen her smile one last time today.
the game went O.K. I didn't get as far as I planned, but it never does.
Aunt Linda and Uncle Gene are visiting. I like them, they are nice.
Today was just another day. another fight. another battle. another war. I used to be a strict optimist, always happy, things are cool. I'm being converted!! I don't want to be a pessimist.

There's life in the ground... I feel it all around, I feel it in my bones. My life is on the line, when I'm away from home. When I step out the door, the jungle is alive, I donnot trust my ears, I don't believe my eyes. I will not fall in Love. I cannot miss the bed, 'cause hearts are fragile toys, so easy for forget.
It's just another day, there's murder in teh air, It drags me where I walk, I smell it everywhere. It's just another day, where people cling to light, they drive away their fear, that comes with every night. It's just another day... -Boingo (Just another day)

Well, during Dinner, the topic about the web, and the "materials" you can get off of it, came up, so I have finally deleted everything off of my PC. Every .GIF, .JPG, and bookmark. I'm glad it's off my chest. I feel liek a better person.
-later... I'm depressed. I need a girlfriend. I want to like Johanne more. I would love to completely fall for her, but I'm realizing that the rejection would suck so much, that... OH, I like her!! I don't want her to reject me!! I wish that I had... no, If I had more classes w/ Johannem I'd be so distracted I'd fail all of my classes.
Being in 9th grade Sucks.
Awe man, I can't believe my mom accused me of lying in front of Aunt Linda and Uncle Gene. about the stuff on the net. I wasn't. I said I stay away from garbage on teh net, and I do! There was a time when I didn't, but that was months ago. ::sigh::
Well, Alanis is playing again, ::sigh:: I want to call shawna.
She ain't home. BIG suprise. I did my public speech today, It went well, except for the end.
I would liek to be cute, like Alan Gaskill. He got his name mentioned in teh assembly 'cause the girls think he's so sute. ::sigh:: I want Johanne to like me. I am reminded of lily(my one and only) all the time.