11-12-1996

OK. Today sucks. It's lunch. I have noone to eat with. Skip has art, and I'm too depressed to sit with the girls. ::sigh:: I want to break down. damn it.
In the word of a Malkavian: I want one reality construct. the one I had in sixth grade. I knew nothing. I with I was back then. It was good. But alas, I also had my heart broken. ::sigh::
life in general Sucks.
There's johanne. She Just walked inot the bathroom. ::sigh:: damnit all. She'll probably walk out soon. Probably not even a gesture or look at me. let's see. -:waits:- nope. not even a FUCKING glance. Screw you! Damnit.
In french, (what a godawful class) I noticed something. Katy has nice legs. Well gosh darnit, I wasn't t better then the other guys, I was just Immature. I thought that it was rude to look at women like that, and Noe I see teh lure. goddamnit. I must stay strong. Why? Because I know they don't want Me looking at them. ::sob:: I've also realized how Immature I am about my dandruff. I hear people last year talking about Justin's dandruff, and I figure that they talk about my dandruff. Jesse talks about Geoff and Hun. I know he talks about me. Geoff tried to invite Jesse over w/o me knowing. He thinks that I'm stealing him. Damnit He talks about me.
I talk about Skip, There it goes. But I need to. Perhaps they need to. Noone Needs to. Perhaps it's ok when coupled w/ a sometimes, or something positive. ::sigh::
who cares?
They're coming to take me away HA HA! They're coming to take me away! To the Happyhme, where everything's pretty and everything's beautiful all the time and they're coming to take me away. All those big strong men in their clean white coats, oh they're coming to take me away.
I wish someone would take me away. ::sigh::
NO girls *look* at me. I'm ugly. my chest is flat, no muscles. My hair is stringy, my eyes are sad, distant, depressed. I'm cold, critical, stupid, foolish. I'm immature. ::sigh:: No girls *look* at me.
Oh well. What's the difference? Noone has before, I jsut didn;t realize it. I'm pathetic. Take me away.
-later
OK. Today was rpetty bad. Beth is rather um, *mature* well, no she's not, but I think she thinks she is. ::sigh:: I will Never have a special someone. Oh yeah, she's on love with a guy named Doug. ::sigh:: just my luck.